I recently saw, on my last flight, the movie Eat Pray Love, and I
must admit, it disappointed much less than expected, maybe because it features
Bali one of the places in the world I love the most ( by the way forget the Volcano and go there if you haven't done it yet) but I also must confess that I disagree with several premises of the
movie, or to be more specific with all of them.
If you have seen the movie, how can anybody forget that dramatic scene in Southern Italy, where the two main females characters are forced to buy a larger size of jeans because of the Italian food. I always wonder why Julia Roberts did not win her second Oscar after the intensity of that moving scene. More powerful than Gone with the Wind. But lets face it, the premise that she comes from the US but she gets fat in Italy is more unbelievable than Javier Bardem trying to portray the caring romantic type.
After watching the movie, doctors around the world are re-writing the recommendations and banning the Mediterranean diet to their patients.
Second premise of the movie is that you go to Bali to find love. That is really hilarious unless you like Balinese people of course, one of the most beautiful souls in the World, inside and outside. But lets face it, apart from amazing locals, beautiful beaches, landscapes, food and of course tons of temples, the main thing you find in Bali is tourist in tank tops and who can fall in love with that.
Tank top is that piece of clothing that some men believe is as sexy and revolutionary as Mary Quant's Short Skirt was in the 60s. It has done more damage to the image of Bali than the over-development and anarchic construction. I believe the local government is considering a Tank Top tax to dissuade Aussies ( sorry for the typo, I meant users) and protect the environment.
The final premise of the movie is that you go to India for its mystical allure. My humble ( and not so humble ) opinion is that you have not experienced India essence till you have been on a queue. Forget about the Secret Temples and their Mantras, the Taj Majal , the beaches of Goa, the mountains of Ranchi or the amazing food. Queuing is were you will have that intimate mystical experience that the hordes of millennial tourists desperate seek when in India.
And by intimate , I mean literally. I believe my next house will be a tiny home after I survived the lack of personal space in my last few queues at the airport.
Queues are underrated. You can say a lot about a country by observing their queues. In Singapore people respect the line religiously aligning themselves to the markings on the floor ( no explanation needed). In Spain, people are required to ask who is the last one in the queue when entering a shop, otherwise your actual presence will not be considered sufficient evidence at the trial and right to order at the counter will be withdrew. If you thought Inquisition was tough, try entering a queuing dispute in Spain. It is more risky than introducing a new ingredient to a Paella dish. Ask poor Jamie Oliver about it ( check this link if you don't believe me )
Queues are underrated. You can say a lot about a country by observing their queues. In Singapore people respect the line religiously aligning themselves to the markings on the floor ( no explanation needed). In Spain, people are required to ask who is the last one in the queue when entering a shop, otherwise your actual presence will not be considered sufficient evidence at the trial and right to order at the counter will be withdrew. If you thought Inquisition was tough, try entering a queuing dispute in Spain. It is more risky than introducing a new ingredient to a Paella dish. Ask poor Jamie Oliver about it ( check this link if you don't believe me )
The Indian case is worth an anthropological study. Indian
people are polite and friendly by nature, and yet when it comes to queuing not
even a century of British rule can calm their basic instincts. In the land were arranged marriages used to be a norm , your queuing partner will stick to you ( literally ) till your reach your destination.
He will be "coaching" you through the experience ( for those who does not know what coaching is, it is what any parent or good friends normally do when you need advice, but for people who basically don't have any friends).
Your queuing coach will help you navigate the intricate paths of Indian queuing and will teach valuable life lessons, the most important of all: a plastic tray at an airport security queue is the most valuable commodity. It is like the Hand that Rocks the Cradle. Whoever grabs it first, rules the world (or at least the queue).
He will be "coaching" you through the experience ( for those who does not know what coaching is, it is what any parent or good friends normally do when you need advice, but for people who basically don't have any friends).
Your queuing coach will help you navigate the intricate paths of Indian queuing and will teach valuable life lessons, the most important of all: a plastic tray at an airport security queue is the most valuable commodity. It is like the Hand that Rocks the Cradle. Whoever grabs it first, rules the world (or at least the queue).
So, a few lessons learnt today, if you want to eat healthy go to the McDonald, save some money to buy t-shirts with sleeves, and and pray to get a nice companion in your next queue in India.
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