In 1798 Reverent Thomas Robert Malthus issued some of the most catastrophic predictions for the fate of the world. He predicted that the exponential increase in human population will put pressure on food supplies and access to water. He was wrong. Luckily for us, the humanity adapted, instead of food humans populate the world with McDonalds replacing traditional nutritious ingredients and instead of water people have access to Chia Lattes in every corner thanks to Starbucks.
If Malthus scared his generations, the environmentalist, commanded by the cheerful Greta Thunberg are the new Horsemen of the apocalypses, forecasting war, famine, and death to all of us and suffocation with plastic bags as the new trendy torture. I believe the Vatican is also preparing an amendment to the seven capital sins to include the use of plastic straws as a reason for excommunication.
Sorry Greta, although I am committed environmental warrior, I am also convinced, that humanity somehow, always survives, we did survive the Cold War, the Spice Girls solo albums and will also survive the Trump Presidency, except maybe the Iranians.
But what if she is right and the End of the World is coming? How can we prepare for it?. Easy, just head to a Buffet.
Recently, on a peaceful sunny July day in the middle of what I thought was going to be a wonderful holiday, I felt as if humanity has descended into chaos when an angry crowd tried to lynch me when I accidentally cut the queue on the steamed broccoli section of my holiday hotel buffet.
Yes, Greta speeches are mellow compared to the scary German granny, gathering her troops to accuse me of stealing her beloved vegetable. She quickly inflame the spirits of the mob and call for blood.
Because of their violent connotation, of desperate individuals fighting for prawns, generally people associate buffets with French, but in fact they were popularized by Swedish on a desperate attempt to dispose their meatballs, before they invented Ikea so they could do it more discreetly.
Mind my word, If you manage to survive unharmed any holiday hotel buffet line, then you are ready for whatever may happen if the world ends.
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I bet any of you to tell me the last time you went to a restaurant and the table was perfectly even and did not require the waiter to fix it.
So many questions come to mind. Why are tables are only uneven at restaurants and not in your own house? Is there any secret meaning to this? and why if the waiters knows that a table is uneven why they don't fix them permanently? Are they customers that prefer them like that so they can make a conversation out of it if their date is boring?
Greta, lets forget about the environment, its too late, lets try to fix the problems we can and make our short time left more pleasant. Let's grab an evil plastic straw, and lets go tickle all the waiters till they get the message and their tables even.
If Malthus scared his generations, the environmentalist, commanded by the cheerful Greta Thunberg are the new Horsemen of the apocalypses, forecasting war, famine, and death to all of us and suffocation with plastic bags as the new trendy torture. I believe the Vatican is also preparing an amendment to the seven capital sins to include the use of plastic straws as a reason for excommunication.
Sorry Greta, although I am committed environmental warrior, I am also convinced, that humanity somehow, always survives, we did survive the Cold War, the Spice Girls solo albums and will also survive the Trump Presidency, except maybe the Iranians.
But what if she is right and the End of the World is coming? How can we prepare for it?. Easy, just head to a Buffet.
Recently, on a peaceful sunny July day in the middle of what I thought was going to be a wonderful holiday, I felt as if humanity has descended into chaos when an angry crowd tried to lynch me when I accidentally cut the queue on the steamed broccoli section of my holiday hotel buffet.
Yes, Greta speeches are mellow compared to the scary German granny, gathering her troops to accuse me of stealing her beloved vegetable. She quickly inflame the spirits of the mob and call for blood.
Because of their violent connotation, of desperate individuals fighting for prawns, generally people associate buffets with French, but in fact they were popularized by Swedish on a desperate attempt to dispose their meatballs, before they invented Ikea so they could do it more discreetly.
Mind my word, If you manage to survive unharmed any holiday hotel buffet line, then you are ready for whatever may happen if the world ends.
I bet any of you to tell me the last time you went to a restaurant and the table was perfectly even and did not require the waiter to fix it.
So many questions come to mind. Why are tables are only uneven at restaurants and not in your own house? Is there any secret meaning to this? and why if the waiters knows that a table is uneven why they don't fix them permanently? Are they customers that prefer them like that so they can make a conversation out of it if their date is boring?
Greta, lets forget about the environment, its too late, lets try to fix the problems we can and make our short time left more pleasant. Let's grab an evil plastic straw, and lets go tickle all the waiters till they get the message and their tables even.
